Tackle Insecurities in Relationships, Find Out If You Are ...

Tackle Insecurities in Relationships, Find Out If You Are Codependent

Article by William Heart

If you tend to feel insecurities in relationships, you are not alone. But if you have a hang-up with constant feelings of inadequacy or obsession over your partner, you could be experiencing codependency. If you believe your relationship is unhealthy, identify the source of these insecurities and evaluate them to gauge whether or not these feelings are normal, or if you?re taking your concern to an unhealthy level. You could be engaging in obsessive love and feeling the need to control others as a result of your insecurities.

You are the person most qualified to know if your love is obsessive. Virtually everyone has insecurities of some type, and often times these can be in conjunction with a romantic relationship. But most people manage to fit their needs with their partner?s and keep a somewhat equal balance. However, in a codependent relationship, it may be difficult to be empathetic to the other person and work to fulfil their needs.

One major problem with having chronic insecurities in relationships is that you may instinctively fulfil your role as a codependent with excuses that cover up your deeply rooted insecurities. Hoping for problems to improve is not a solution, and in the meantime, you may become depressed when your relationship does not fix itself. If you find yourself in despair, you should seek to understand your feelings further, and possibly even speak to an objective third party.

You may have been codependent since childhood, because you were sensitive to problems within the family. Your insecurities in relationships often come from unhealthy relationships early on in life, maybe even with your parents. Your codependent behaviors are probably not conscious, but they are likely absorbed from early influences. These behaviors grow in adulthood and become habits. Thus, in adult relationships, you may find yourself having trouble committing or feeling an overly intense need for approval from others.

You may feel self-destructive because you jump from one unhealthy relationship to the next. If you feel unworthy, your relationship insecurities will result in chronically bad relationships because you do not feel that you deserve to be loved. You may also try too hard to please the other person, which leads to neglect of yourself and worse feelings of self-loathing. When you loathe yourself, it makes it difficult for your partner to love you, and thus you establish another unhealthy pattern which can be hard to break.

Part of obsessive love is establishing a give-and-take aspect to your relationship, which can be very unhealthy. You come to expect that when you do something for your partner, they must reciprocate. This is the opposite of the unconditional love which marks more healthy relationships, and can lead to feelings of resentment from your partner, who may find your demands unreasonable or frustrating. It may make it more difficult for your partner to love you if he feels his love is expected or taken for granted.

Since your future happiness depends on fixing insecurities in your relationships, you may want to consider professional help if you notice unhealthy patterns. In order to stop the cycle, you have to get to the base of the problem. You can start by seeking out more information on codependency, which can be found in the links at the bottom of this article. Once you move on from these emotions, it will be easier for you to seek out healthy relationships instead of unhealthy ones.

About the Author

Learn more about the overcoming relationship insecurities here, or visit us at http://www.codependencynomore.com for a free mini-course on recognizing, coping, and recovering from codependency addiction.

Source: http://relationships-problems.com/home/tackle-insecurities-in-relationships-find-out-if-you-are-codependent/

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